Chemical Warfare
by orphan mia
Summary: When Dib gets pneumonia, Zim is forced to heal him in order to get his enemy back to normal. One little cure and test results, however, are the catalysts to a horrifying reaction. Will Zim and Dib be able to save both of their worlds in time? ZADR Ch.4 Up
1. Doctor Zim

Chemical Warfare : Doctor Zim

A/N: Hey... this is my first ZADR fic, it's my first story for Invader Zim, so please be honest. I am all about keeping the characters in character and capturing them in interesting lights. Well, this may be a multi-chaptered story, but it all depends on what you all think, because if it's bad than I don't want to sully the site with this. Read and Review!

I

Looking back, the reason Zim and Dib got into such a mess was because of pneumonia. It was funny, but neither of them laughed at the time. At the time, Zim was one frustrated Irken while Dib was a slightly confused and amused human.

The school bell rang. Zim would always remember that it was a Tuesday because Wednesday was when he was going to unleash his newest plan to dominate the human race. He sat in his desk, bouncing with anticipation. Dib would be _horrified_ when Zim told him that he had developed a flesh eating microbe and was going to pour it into the school's water supply as his first test.

Oh, it would be glorious.

However, the teacher closed the door. Dib wasn't in his seat.

"Dib Membrane, absent."

"WHAT?"

Zim bellowed, his claws digging into his skin. The entire class turned in their seats, staring at him. Zim ground his teeth, but was willing to let the monkey have his one day. It _was_ the first time he was absent during his entire school career.

Wednesday rolled around, and Dib was still missing. Clenching his fists, Zim simply walked out of the school and went to the human's house. He kicked the door in, quickly finding Dib's signature body heat in a room upstairs.

The Irken stealthily crept up the cold, quiet house and opened the door to Dib's room.

II

For all of his life, Dib had never missed a day of school. He _couldn't_. Who knows what Zim could have done if he was left completely unsupervised.

It was during senior year that he woke up, only to fall back asleep. His mind was willing, but his body felt like a hot, wet bag of sand. His cheeks were flushed and his entire body ached. Vaguely, he remembered his father mentioning something about pneumonia.

After that, there was darkness.

"Monkey." A loud, annoying voice roused Dib from the dead. He groaned. "Worm baby!" It wouldn't _go away_. Couldn't he die in peace? "Dib!"

Bleary brown eyes cracked open. Dib might have screamed when he saw the Irken leaning over him, his boots on his bed. Instead, he coughed violently.

"W-What," cough, "are y-you," cough, cough, "doing here?"

The alien narrowed his eyes.

"You haven't been in school for _two _days."

"No shit, Sherlock."

"Who is this Sherlock? Is HE keeping you from coming to SCHOOL?"

Dib moaned, wishing that this was a bad dream.

"No... Sherlock didn't— ugh, I'm sick, Zim. I have pneumonia!"

The silence that followed made Dib uneasy. He couldn't see the little invader (well, not _so_ little anymore) because he had moved away, clicking his claws together. The human boy sighed, trying to sit up only to flop back down again. Helpless. Utterly helpless.

_Click. Click. Click._

"Is this... pneumonia fatal?"

Shifting in his sheets, Dib closed his eyes.

"It sure feels like it."

When he heard mechanical whirring, he forced his eyes open. Zim's pak was expanding, unfolding and revealing a... a box. It was placed on the ground by those weird spider legs so Zim could look through it. Dib observed with growing anxiety as the Irken began tinkering with shiny instruments.

Zim sniffed, his dark contact covered eyes intense as he raised up a weird metal.... toothbrush thing.

"Your species is so pathetic, Dib-monkey, that it's probably nothing." He pulled on goggles, high pitched tones and beeps spilling out of them. "Hold still."

III

Human beings were such a strange race. They had squishy internal organs, yet their skin could resist that horrible acid that it called "water." Also, germs were very casual, none being taken too seriously. Dib was the biggest threat to Zim, and Zim was the biggest threat to Dib.

The system was screwy, but it _worked_.

So... seeing Dib so weak and defenseless was as alien as Zim was to earth. The wormy insect had never fallen ill. Or had he? Zim didn't exactly _monitor_ the human's health... but he had never missed school....

Dib, at the moment, was struggling to defend himself. It seemed, however, that the mysterious sickness had taken all the strength Dib had left. The boy, sweaty and clammy, could only stare up at him with wide hazel eyes, his breathing hitched. Zim held him down, a clawed hand on the human's chest as he pressed the boy into the mattress.

"Hold still." A malicious grin almost cracked Zim's face as he activated his medical instrument. Without hesitation, he collected a blood sample. Dib hissed. "Stop whining."

Dib's chest fell, finally letting out the breath that he had been holding.

"What did you... what have you done to me?"

His eyes were fluttering shut, though he fought valiantly to stay awake. Zim's read eyes narrowed, studying the readings on his machinery.

"Nothing. Yet."

Zim left out the window as Dib slipped into a deep sleep. Zim crawled down the Membrane's aluminum siding and scurried to his lab.

IV

Evil sunlight bored through Dib's window. Groaning, Dib rolled over and fell out of bed. He was able to stand, drag his carcass into the bathroom, urinate, then shuffle downstairs.

Blinking slowly, Dib opened the refrigerator. It was filled with orange juice. His father wanted to make sure that his children didn't die from scurvy. Sighing, Dib pulled out a carton and closed the door.

Zim was waiting for him. Dib let out a shout, dropping his beverage.

"Holy sh— Jesus!" As orange juice pooled around the human's feet, Zim stepped out of its reach, scowling. "Zim... what the _hell_?"

His legs were shaking and he grabbed the counter so he didn't fall. The alien smirked.

"You're still weak."

Dib swooned, cursing his fever.

"I'm sure that Irk had sicknesses too, Zim." He was dressed in a sweaty wife-beater and boxers. He was sallow and more pale than usual. "Are you going to kill me?"

V

Ethereal blue light illuminated Zim's face as he studied the microbes enlarged on his computer screen. _Pneumonia... what a strange beast._ As it turned out, it was laughingly simple. _Stupid human._

He saved the sickness _and_ the cure on his hard drive, intending to send them to the Almighty Tallest.

"Master?" Gir's high pitched voice cracked his computer screen. "What 'cha doin'?"

"Leave me, Gir, I'm working!"

The robot scrambled away, leaving heaps of chaos in his wake. Zim rolled his eyes as he collected the cure from his lab. Zim picked the lock to Dib's house and let himself in, scaring the human.

"Are you going to kill me?"

Zim rolled his eyes.

"No. Give me your arm."

Dib hesitated.

"Aren't you supposed to be at school?"

"Ha! Your pitiful education system is hardly worth Zim's time!"

The human frowned, wordlessly holding out his arm. Zim took out a syringe. In a smooth, apathetic motion he injected the cure into Dib's bloodstream. The effect was instantaneous (because Zim _was_ infallible after all) and had Dib gasping for air like a fish out of water. Warmth and health flowed in his veins. His fever dissipated away like fog into the air.

For a moment, there was silence. Dib clutched at his heart, his lungs heaving. His eyes locked with Zim's purple contacts. The alien looked him over, his eyes steely. The human's flesh had color under it, and his legs were no longer shaking.

Zim may have wondered if Dib knew how thankful he should be. After all, Zim had gotten rid of his one hundred and six fever and those annoying microbes. Not to mention that strange defect in the human's genes. Oh well, that wasn't important. The point was, Zim had fixed him.

There should have been a "thank you," but neither boy was willing to give or accept it. They both denied what had just transpired. Zim had... _healed_ Dib. The human was sick, and the alien cured him. In that silence, there was a question, a cloudy and vague answer, and two beings caught in the middle of it all.

Both of their brains were churning away.

"Uh..."

"Silence, monkey!" Zim wrung his clawed hands, his big eyes wide and alert. He grinned, his sharp teeth making cringe inwardly. "I've infected the school's water supply with a flesh eating microbe!"

Dib's breath caught.

"You... you _what_?"

Zim's laughter reverberated against the walls as he sprinted out of the human's house. Dib scrambled to pull on his jacket as he ran down the street, his bare feet scraping against the pavement.

And, just like that, it was back to normal. Zim and Dib, bitter enemies. However, their questions would multiply. But... for now... everything was back in balance. Equilibrium.

Then the Tallest received Zims' findings.

VI

A/N: Well, that's the first or maybe final chapter. Read and review. Tell me if you want more or just tell me I'm complete rubbish. I accept all types of reviews, even flames. Thank you! I hope to hear from you!

-mia


	2. Altered Genes

Chemical Warfare : Altered Genes

A/N: Thank you for the reviews. I think I will continue it, so here is the next chapter. I hope that you like it, and please, PLEASE review. Tell me the truth or flame me, it doesn't matter! Read and Review!

I

Large red eyes narrowed. Usually, Zim's findings were stupid and pointless. However, the two strands of DNA and microbes on the screen struck the Tallest as... odd.

In the dark, the screen made their skin glow eerily.

"Purple... this looks like..."

"The virus." Purple hissed with displeasure. "He found the cure..."

"How in Irk did he do that?" In the report, Zim babbled on about the human who 'got in his way' on many occasions. Dib? Something like that. Dib had the virus and Zim took a sample of his blood and found the cure. But... the DNA strands... "Why did Zim alter his DNA?"

"Who knows. That human, he's got the antibodies." A zipper grin spread across his face. "Red, we could use this. Irk could be even _more_ powerful."

"More powerful? How could it be—?" His tongue flickered out in understanding. "Ah... Purple... you _beast_." Red clicked his claws together. "Who will we send to retrieve our biological weapon?"

Dark laughter bubbled in the Tallest's throat."

"I know just the Irken..."

II

"Get back here, you stupid alien!" Dib sprinted down the street dressed in his boxers and trench-coat. He kept his pace, just falling short of the Irken. "Dammit, Zim!"

Something inside of him snapped. Dib leaped, casting a shadow on the shorter male. Zim turned, his eyes wide. Time crashed back down on them in a collision of two bodies. A cloud of debris engulfed them. Dib coughed. Zim groaned. When the dust cleared, the first thing Dib noticed was that his glasses were cracked.

"Holy Irk..."

Zim sat up. He was in the bottom of a very small crater. Dib blinked in awe.

"Did... I didn't do that. Did I? That was you!"

The two enemies fell silent. Zim shoved Dib off of him.

"Filthy mud-baby."

Covered in dirt, Dib stood up, dusting himself off. Zim was walking back towards his base.

"Hey! Where are you going?"

The alien didn't even turn around.

"I didn't infect the water supply."

Dib frowned as he watched his nemesis walk away from a fight. He sneezed as a woman screamed at him, calling him a pervert. Looking down, Dib realized that his trench-coat, his _favorite_ coat, was ripped to shreds. In other words, Dib Membrane was in the middle of town in his boxers.

III

"You called me, my Tallest?"

Tak bowed low, her antennae pressed flat against her head. Red and Purple clicked their claws together.

"Yes, our dearest Tak. We would like to ask you to... retrieve something for us."

Wide eyes sparkled with delight.

"Of course, my Tallest. Anything you ask."

Red placed his hands on the Irken's shoulders.

"Do you remember Zim?" The growl that rumbled from Tak's throat was a satisfactory answer. "Good. He has something that belongs to us. A human."

Her muscles tensed.

"Dib."

"Very good, Tak. We want his Dib-human. _Alive_. Can you do that?"

Fire burned in Tak's soul.

"With _pleasure_, my Tallest."

IV

_Snap!_

"Dammit."

_Snap!_

"Come on."

_Snap!_

Three broken pencils laid on Dib's desk. He trembled with frustration. His anger masked his terror. Zim kept avoiding his gaze. Questions buzzed in his mind, and he wanted... no _needed_ answers. Dib sighed.

Zim, on the other hand, was wringing his claws. Irk knows that he wasn't the _greatest_ scientist... but he had done a simple procedure. It cured the human! But Zim knew that what happened yesterday was not a mere coincidence. Dib had pulverized _pavement_.

Ever since Zim came to Earth, he had to treat everything delicately. The Irken race was so superior to the weak humans that even his fights with Dib-stink were held back. Zim soon discovered that Dib made up for his weakness with his shrewd ability to find and _exploit_ Zim's weaknesses.

But yesterday... yesterday Dib displayed physical prowess that... startled Zim.

All signs pointed to—

"Space-boy." Zim felt loathing's familiar burn set in as Dib sneered, leaning on his desk. "The bell rang. School's over."

"Yes, I see that, monkey."

They waited, staring at each other in silence. Zim stood, though he made no move for the door. It was just him and Dib in a completely empty classroom. Dib was... was he shaking?

"Is this... some weird experiment? Are you doing this for laughs?"

Zim blinked. Dib was... well... he was scared. In all of their spouts, he had never seen the boy so... shaken.

"Zim doesn't know what you're talking about."

"Oh no?" Dib nodded absent-mindedly with false humor. "Good. Then I guess I have nothing to worry about!" In a flash of rage, Dib flipped over Zim's desk, bending one of metal legs like it was silly putty. "What is this? Why did you _do_ this?"

"I didn't do anything!" Zim punched Dib in the stomach, sending the boy sailing into the blackboard. The board shattered, but Dib rose. There was a long gash down his arm, but he didn't even acknowledge it. "Dib-stink, you're crazy—"

Pale hands shot out, skinny fingers digging into the Irken's neck. The really frightening thing wasn't the fact that Zim couldn't breathe... no. Terror laid in Dib's eyes. He released Zim as soon as he heard that first, pitiful gasp. Tears welled in Dib's hazel eyes as he backed away.

He left, leaving Zim wheezing on the floor.

V

Dib stood outside of his door. He had been staring at the golden knob for five minutes. Biting his tongue, Dib let his hand whisper against the device, barely caressing it. A terrible moan came from the metal. Dib snatched his hand back. Wiping sweat from his brow, the teenager tried agin. He let his skin just barely, BARELY touch the metal.

No noise.

With a grace he didn't know he had, Dib turned the knob as gently as he could. When it didn't implode, Dib sighed with relief and closed the door behind him, tearing it off of its hinges.

"God dammit!"

He cringed when he heard a low growl. Gaz appeared, her fists clenching and unclenching.

"Explain. _Now_."

Just as Dib was inhaling, another girl popped her head in the hallway.

"C'mon, Gaz. I thought we were going to play Street Fighter: DOOM edition!" The girl fell silent when she saw Dib. "Oh... hi."

"Hi."

She slowly approached, smiling. Gaz rolled her eyes, muttering darkly.

"This is Caroline. Caroline, this is my... brother Dib."

"It's nice to meet you, Dib." She briefly nodded, and Dib returned the gesture. "Can we play now?"

Gaz stared at the broken door and Dib, but the insisting whine from her friend made her shoulders relax.

"Yes, Caroline."

The two girls returned to the living room, explosions and screams emanating from the television. Dib exhaled slowly. He went to his room and unpacked his backpack. He opened his textbook, but ended up ripping it in half.

Chills wiggled down the paranormal investigator's spine. Dib slunk down the stairs.

"I'm going out, Gaz!"

"Bring back pizza!"

VI

"Bring up the coordinates, Mimi."

"Yes, master."

Tak stared into the darkness that was space. Soon she would have the point of destination and she would be able to open a wormhole bringing her to Earth in a matter of seconds. As the SIR unit began tracking Dib's place of residence, Tak licked her lips with anticipation. She was given a second chance. Now she could _prove_ herself to be an Irken elite!

She took a deep breath, calming herself. _Focus... get Dib. Get out._ She frowned. Zim... he could be a problem. He _had_ worked with the human to discover her plan... and to bring her down. But... in school they were sworn enemies.

It was making her antennae ache. Oh well, no matter. Nothing would get in her way. As Mimi typed the coordinates into the ship and they opened up the wormhole, Tak giggled madly. Dib was as good as hers.

VII

Zim narrowed his red eyes as his computer screen. He heard his computer sigh.

"_Did it ever occur to you that altering the human's genetics was a bad idea?"_

"What? Dib-stink's genes were flawed! Broken! Zim was generous enough to fix them."

"_You really don't know what consequences are, do you?"_

"Con-see-what?"

Before his computer could let out another depressed sigh, Gir transmitted a message to him, his face appearing on the screen.

"Houston, we have a problem! The gnomes are in a massacre!"

Zim almost slammed his head through the screen.

"Gir... I _dare_ you to make less sense!"

A monstrous explosion rocked his base. Gir squealed with excitement.

"The British are coming! The British are coming!"

In a flash of white, the transmission cut out. Zim immediately abandoned his computer and leapt into the lift, shooting back up to ground level. The doors opened, and to Zim's horror, his front door was _open_. His door was open, and Girl was purring. His door was open, and Dib was standing in it, his hair smoking. The human's glasses glinted as he dropped the head of a lawn gnome, the wires sparking.

The head rolled to Zim's feet. He blinked as Gir leapt into the human's arms, demanding affection. Dib smiled at the SIR unit, stroking his head and earning a contented purr.

Zim picked up the lawn gnome's remains. Great Irk, the boy had ripped apart his defensive robots with his _bare_ fleshy hands.

"Um..." Gir nuzzled Dib's face, cutting off the boy's speech. Adjusting his glasses, Dib held onto Gir and stared at Zim. "We need to talk."

VIII

A/N: Annnnnd Cut! Woo! Well, I hope you like the interesting turn of events. Please tell me if you liked this chapter and if everyone was in character. Hell, if you hated the chapter, you can tell me! I don't mind! Read and Review please!

-mia


	3. Superhuman

Chemical Warfare : Superhuman

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. ZADR is my new obsession! If anything seems off to you, don't be afraid to tell me or to ask questions... or to scream. It's all good. Read and Review!

I

Dib held his breath. His clothes were smoking, and he was panting. Sure, he didn't _have_ to completely annihilate the gnomes. When Gir had leaped at him he almost did the same to him, but the robot was merely being affectionate. Zim wasn't in his disguise, his big red eyes staring at the gnome's head that rolled to his feet.

"What?"

The Irken's antennae were pressed down, his eyes narrowing. Dib let out his breath, jumping a little when Gir nuzzled his cheek, giggling.

"Master, he's all soft and cuddly!"

Zim scowled.

"Gir, get off of him. He's filthy!"

"No!" Gir squeezed Dib. "He's warm!"

Both beings glared at each other. Dib felt awkward, being in the middle of their disagreement. It was ridiculous, Dib feeling out of place. He had fought the Irken, so what was a little argument? Still, Dib was frozen in the doorway as Zim hissed, his reptilian flickering out.

"Get in, and don't _touch_ anything." Zim grabbed Dib by the collar and yanked the human inside, slamming the door shut. Zim picked up the gnome head, scrutinizing the damage. Gir grinned, pressing himself closer to Dib. "You want to... talk?"

"Yes. Fix whatever you did to me!" When Zim didn't respond, Dib sighed. "I don't have any cameras or water guns."

"I know." Dib noticed that the alien's voice was hoarse. The boy avoided Zim's gaze as he realized _why_ his voice was raspy. He had choked him in a rash act of anger. "Are you certain that this isn't... natural?"

Dib placed Gir gently on the ground. He walked into the kitchen and placed his hand on the table. It groaned. He flexed his fingers, and the table splintered down the middle.

"Very."

II

Gaz and Caroline were fighting to the death. Caroline bit her tongue, squinting with concentration. Her fingers pressed a certain button and—

"Boom! Head shot!" She threw up her hands as her character ripped off Gaz's player's head and kicked it off screen. Caroline grinned. "Owned again. Gaz, are you falling from grace?"

Before the epitome of rage spoke, the doorbell rang. The two girls turned. Gaz growled.

"It better be Dib, and he _better_ have pizza."

Caroline stood, pausing the game.

"Hopefully." She marched to the door and opened it. Her face fell, a disappointed sigh falling from her lips. "Can I help you?"

A short girl with intense purple eyeshadow stood in the doorway. She had her eyebrow pierced and her hands were on her hips.

"Yes, you can." Her eyes gleamed. Caroline blinked, unfazed. "Is Dib home? I'm Tak, a friend from school."

Before Caroline could answer, Gaz appeared behind her. Her aura radiated anger and annoyance.

"We don't want any." She kicked Tak in the stomach and flicked on the sprinkler system in their front yard. Gaz closed the door as Tak screamed in agony. Caroline shuddered. "Come on, I want to play you on the next level."

III

Zim stared at the broken table and the broken human. Dib's chest rose and fell as he rubbed his eyes. Gir hugged the boy's leg, humming with contentment. The alien remembered his computer's words. _Consequences. _

"I fixed you. I made you able to fight Zim."

Dib picked Gir up, as if he found comfort in the eccentric SIR unit.

"You fixed my sickness. You broke _me_." He stared at his hand before petting Gir. "I don't want this."

"Power? You don't want power?"

"Not if I didn't earn it."

It was ludicrous. Everyone wanted power! Zim would jump on the opportunity that Dib had. Dib could easily seize power through his strength. Zim scoffed, scowling.

"Fine."

Dib didn't move.

"Temporary truce?"

He held out his hand. Zim grimaced as he shook it.

"Agreed." They shook hands, keeping it short. "Come with me. Maybe you can figure it out."

Gir squealed, wriggling out of Dib's hands. He ran to the couch and turned on the television. Dib followed Zim to the elevator, stepping into the lift with his nemesis. They rode in silence, and as soon as the door opened, the computer let out a cynical chuckle.

"_You're finally listening to reason, I see."_

Zim didn't acknowledge the smug remark.

"Computer, pull up the virus and cure files." Four slides appeared on the screen. Dib narrowed his eyes. "This is pneumonia. This is the cure." Zim pointed. "You also had a genetic defect."

Dib paled.

"Zim... that wasn't a defect, that was my DNA."

"So? It was faulty!"

The human shook Zim by the shoulders.

"It wasn't faulty! It was _my_ weakness! It was _mine_ to overcome!" Zim hissed and dug his claws into his shoulders, causing Dib to release him. "Tell me... can you tell what you changed?"

They were both panting. Zim glowered.

"Computer, scan the human."

Dib froze as the machine whirred as two arms emerged and held him in place and a red light scanned over his body.

"_Regenerative gene activated."_

Stuttering, Dib was released.

"W-What?"

"_The ability to rapidly build and repair tissues has been activated."_

"Build?"

The computer flickered with annoyance.

"_Improving efficiency." _When both beings continued to stare at the screen without satisfaction, it sighed. _"It makes you better and stronger."_

As if cued, Dib looked down to see the holes in this shirt. There was blood, but no wounds. They had already healed.

IV

Tak snarled as she slowly applied salve to her face to ease her pain. _That... blasted girl! Protecting her brother!_ The sun had set, casting the world in darkness.

_Fine, Dib. You want to play? Let's play!_

V

As a child, everyone dreams of being a super hero. To go around, rescuing damsels while gaining love and respect from _everyone_ through morals and the power to uphold them. It seemed nice, at the time, to have superhuman strength. No worries, only happiness.

Dib was far from it.

He was silent as the computer's words echoed in the room. He was regenerating. He'd heal faster, he'd become stronger faster, he'd... he'd do _everything _in a more efficient matter.

But... it didn't taste as sweet as those comic-book heros had promised him. It was bitter and cold. Empty. The human teenager backed up, his skin covered in goose-bumps. He wouldn't be able to... type on a computer keyboard again. God forbid he try to hold hands with a girl, her fingers would end up as crushed bits of bone. Let alone... a kiss... his _first_ kiss would be... him traveling to the hospital while apologizing for breaking all of her teeth.

There was a terrible pain in his chest as the walls began to close in on him. He vaguely heard Zim say his name, but it was like he was underwater. Blinking, Dib took a deep breath. Then another. And another. Soon, he was breathing too fast as he backed into the wall, sending up a series of cracks into the foundation. Zim was in front of him now, screaming his name.

_Oh God. Oh God. Oh G—_

_SLAP!_

Crystal-clear silence. Dib blinked, three large gashes on his face quickly healing themselves. Zim glared at him, saying something about 'filthy human' and him being 'pathetic.'

Oxygen clouded his senses, and Dib felt his eyes growing heavy with each heave of his lungs.

As he faded into unconsciousness, he heard Zim's high-pitched shrill of a voice screeching his name.

VI

A/N: Well, thanks for reading. I KNOW that the chapters are short, I'm sorry. I'm just... so excited where this is going. So yeah. I might do some drabbles of ZADR later, so keep an eye out if you want. Read and Review!


	4. First Shot

Chemical Warfare : First Shot

A/N: Thank you for the reviews! Keep on leaving them. Sorry that I haven't been able to update in a while, but with the break I figured I'd get back on it. Please Read and Review!

I

Zim howled with rage that the human had the audacity to lose consciousness in the presence of the Almighty Zim! Gir squealed as his computer snickered, flickering with cynic delight.

"_That could have gone better."_

"Shut up!" Zim hissed, clicking his claws together angrily as he loomed over the fallen boy. _Dib-stink_. Red eyes glowed as they peered at him, calculating the difficulty of handling the lanky Dib-creature. "Stupid, stupid... _filthy_..."

Hissing, Zim picked Dib up, grimacing as the boy's mouth fell on his shoulder. Gir ran and opened the elevator, humming giddily.

"What a tall Sleeping Beauty!"

The doors closed and Zim shifted his weight, his claws digging into Dib's sides. His crimson eyes slid to gaze at his SIR unit.

"Gir, what _nonsense_ are you spewing out now?"

"Sleeping Beauty, Master. You know... the human that fell asleep until awakened by a handsome prince?"

The slice of technology giggled madly as Zim rolled his eyes. The doors opened and Zim dropped to his knees, his chest heaving. _What the hell— oh!_ Red eyes fluttered shut, every muscle in his body trembling with mind-numbing pleasure. Gir bounded to the couch, ignoring his Master's... distress.

Zim tried to move, to do _anything, _but was blinded by sensation. His mind had a sudden moment of repulsive clarity as Zim took a deep breath. _Dib-thing is breathing on my antennae!_ Just as the realization hit him, another wave of pleasure coursed through his body.

Biting back every carnal instinct that screamed at him to indulge himself, Zim pushed Dib to the floor. The Irken fell to the floor, trying to get his body to _slow down_. His skin relished the cool tile against his hot skin.

"Idiotic... Primitive... Disgusting..." Ghostly sensations returned and Zim whined, his antennae curling. "Dammit..."

Taking his time, Zim gathered his wits over the span of ten minutes. Dib was still on the floor, blissfully unaware of the erotic act he had been a part of. Zim glared at the human, his face flushed. If there hadn't been a truce, Dib's intestines would he splattered on the opposite wall by now.

Instead, the Irken was _allowing_ the boy to sleep on his floor. Zim poked Dib's face harshly with a claw. The skin broke, blood dribbling down to the floor. It soon stopped, healing quickly just like the computer said it would.

"Wake up, monkey." Zim growled. "Wake up!"

Gir smiled, finally acknowledging the situation.

"Master, it won't work. He needs his prince!"

"Don't be ridiculous. He's just being stubborn." Zim pinched the human's face. He was rewarded with a groan, but no consciousness. Poking prodding, Zim grew more and more frustrated. "Gir, do a search on this 'Sleeping Beauty.'"

"Yes, Master!"

The television became a computer screen. Zim's red eyes widened as he saw the blonde woman sleeping. He read the fairytale. _Saved by a prince... first kiss..._

Kissing in itself was disgusting. The ritual of waking up by a kiss was just pathetic. Humans, so weak and attention-loving beasts. Zim grabbed Dib by the collar of his shirt, yanking him up.

"Stupid worm-baby. You better thank Zim repeatedly for the rest of your pitiful life!"

II

Caroline yawned and shut off the game. Gaz grumbled, complaining about Dib and the lack of pizza. Just when Caroline was about to get ready to go to sleep, a computer screen dropped down from the ceiling.

"**Warning, missile approaching."**

Gaz pushed on the recliner and it opened up the floor. After pushing a confused Caroline down, she jumped in just as a fiery explosion rocked her living room. They landed in Dr. Membrane's lab.

"Jesus!" Caroline coughed, her eyes wide. "What the hell was that?"

The computer screen returned.

"**Enemy remains outside of the perimeter."**

The teenager turned to her violent friend.

"Where's your dad?"

"He's on vacation."

Another explosion rocked the house, causing the two girls to fall to the floor.

"Fuck..."

III

_Green._

_Her eyes were so... green. To Dib, she was the only woman worth loving. All the other superficial smiles and synthetic faces were __**nothing**__ compared to his Mother._

_She turned to him, smiling like she meant it. Her long brown hair was so soft, so wavy. She was like an angel in a dark, lonely world._

_His Mother played with him. She would let him paint with her, and she would teach him that creativity was one of the most beautiful things on Earth._

_She had taken Dib's hand and dipped his finger into the navy blue paint. He was so small, so pure and... idealistic._

"_Go on," she would say, "make art."_

_And he did. She would put on music and they would smile and laugh as they painted as Mother and Son. She had been so bright. Brighter and warmer than the sun. An angel. A goddess. Dib had smiled up at her, and she had called him by name, but just "Son," but "Dib."_

_The scene chances. The colors chip away and leave Dib alone in the Darkness. His Mother appears. Suddenly, she is not so bright. She is faded. Tired. Those green eyes are black and red around the edges._

_She had been crying._

"_M-Mommy?"_

Dib's eyes opened. He saw green, and for a heart-stopping moment, he had the foolish thought that it was Mother. Sense, however, clicked in when he saw the blurred outline of antennae.

"Zim?" Dib shoved his hands forward, effectively removing the Irken from his body. "What... what the heck were you doing?"

"Trying to wake you up! Why did you go to sleep?"

"I fainted, you idiot!"

"Maybe if your stupid ritual wasn't so primitive—"

"Human ritual?"

"Only a kiss can wake you pitiful creatures. Disgusting!" Zim spat, but his eyes widened and his antennae jumped up. Dib stiffened, not used to Zim being so expressive... then again, he had rarely seen him for such a long time without a disguise. "Your eyes are shining, Dib-human." His hands flew up, his cheeks burning red. He immediately rubbed his eyes, scowling. Zim's antennae lowered at the human's aggression. "What's wrong with you, beast?"

"_Nothing!_" Dib put his glasses back on. "It's nothing, Zim."

Not believing him, the Irken's eyes bored into Dib's glasses. Suddenly, an annoying electronic melody filled the tense silence. Dib's phone. He pulled it out, pressing his ear to the receiver.

"Hello?"

"Dib... that _girlfriend_ of yours is destroying the house."

Gaz's deadly voice crackled through the phone.

"Girlfriend?"

"The one with all those sausages."

Dib paled, his glasses sliding down his nose.

"T-Tak?"

Zim hissed, Gaz's monstrous voice spoke.

"Yes. Make her leave. _Now._"

She hung up, Zim's long tongue flicked out.

"Why did you say that vermin's name?"

Dib's wide eyes swivelled to land on the Irken. An enemy. A comrade.

"She's back. Tak is back, and she's _here_."

IV

Smokey air swirled in Caroline's lungs. She gasped, her heart paralyzed fear.

"Dammit! Isn't the anything in here we can use?"

Gaz punched computer and the machinery shuddered.

"**Manual override."**

The dark girl snorted and tossed an odd set of goggles and controllers to Caroline.

"Have you ever played Call of Duty 4?"

"Is that even a question? Of course I have."

"Then help me out."

Gaz slipped on the goggles. Caroline followed her example. The world around her vanished. Instead, infrared vision swamped her eyes. It all made sense. _Just play the game, Caroline._ She took a deep breath and maneuvered herself towards the strange girl from earlier.

_Just play the game._

V

Rubble and debris crumbled down from the ceiling. Tak smiled. _Come on out, Dib._ The smell of fire gave Tak delicious chills. She shivered.

A picture caught her eye. She stopped.

_What's this?_ A woman and child. Mother and Son. It took very little thought to see that the boy was her target Dib. But the woman...

Her wavy hair and green eyes... the green could have faded into blue... and the wave could be seen in that odd spike. Yes... this was the boy's Mother. _Strange, he did not mention her back when we were acquainted. _All he had told her was that he had a Father and sister. But he never mentioned a Mother.

_Odd creatures. Disgusting mating habits._

She took the picture anyway, slipping it into her Pak. Tak activated her ray gun, quietly rounding the corner. Nothing. No Dib. Tak moved on when she heard something click behind her. She whirled around to see two robots. One with a scowling face, and the other grinning smugly.

"Caroline, do the honors."

"Hasta la vista, baby."

The robot fired something, and Tak's world faded to black.

VI

Zim pulled Dib up to the second floor where kept all his vehicles. The human had changed. He _had_ been terror-stricken, but now he was absolutely livid.

"Dib-stink, your teeth gnashing is hurting Zim's antennae." His antennae pressed themselves down, showing his annoyance. Dib immediately stopped. Zim's shoulders relaxed slightly. "Take the hover-bike."

The teenager raised his eyebrows, mounting the bike.

"Are you going in your ship?"

"Of course. Less talk, more action."

"R-Right."

The Irken entered the cockpit. Dib revved the bike's engine. Zim opened the roof. He grinned maliciously at the human.

"Smeeties first."

Dib rolled his eyes and pressed down on the accelerator. The bike gave a mighty kick before launched into the sky. The wind blew Dib's hair back, and the stars blurred together into thin white stripes. He let out a war-cry and soared towards his house. He heard Zim behind him.

The exhilaration of _flying_ got the best Dib, and he grinned, letting both of his hands catch the wind.

"Quit fooling around, human! We've got to work to do!" Zim screeched from inside his ship. Dib smiled at him, and it wasn't because he had won or was in pain. No, Dib truly smiled because... they were working together. Zim looked away, grumbling darkly. "Stupid _female_... meddling with Zim's planet!"

They rounded the street corner, and they both stopped, their mouths hanging open.

Dib's house was intact. In fact, it _pristine_. Dib let out an airy exhale, and the sound brought whispers of pleasure back into Zim's body. The Irken squirmed uncomfortably in his seat.

"What the—?"

Gaz opened the door, panting. Caroline jumped, punching the air enthusiastically.

"Membrane House: 1, Crazy-Psycho-Chick: 0. Woo!"

Zim did some fancy maneuvering to avoid sight while Dib simply landed the bike. Zim jumped down from the roof he had landed on, hastily pulling on his wig and slipping in his contacts.

"Dib, what's the meaning of this?"

The human boy shook his head, dazed.

"I don't know, Zim."

Gaz and the celebrating Caroline and stomped up to her brother. She snarled, her hair curling.

"You've got some explaining to do."

VII

Tak awoke to see white. Her body was bound, but her mind was free. She growled, working on her restraints with a lethal determination.

VIII

A/N: Thank you for reading. Tell me if you liked it, or hated it. I'M READY FOR ANYTHING! Ha, ha. Well, please review! Thanks!

-mia

p.s. In case there was some confusion: **ZIM DID NOT KISS DIB**. He just missed it, lol.


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